A Word To My Reader
I am not a perfect voice calling out in the dark, but a broken voice calling out in the dark. I have not said anything perfectly, nor have I ever touched on perfection flawlessly. Every element I speak on found here will fall short on every degree because of the breadth and width of which the topic expands (both logically and emotionally). In fact the only thing I can come closest to in explaining perfectly would be my brokenness, because that, I know better than perfection. I can only try to speak about the glimpses of perfection I have seen in my life. Please bear that in mind as you read. I hope that these compositions can bring further light to the honest depths and heights that life teaches us about ourselves, the world around us, and the starter of this all, God.
As Phillip Lopate says, in reading this you will learn more about my “habits of thought” than the activities that actually make up my day to day. I do not assume that most will want to read any of this, but for the one who is feeling lost or confused, for the one who is trying to find reason to keep living, for the one who is fighting against himself, others, or his God, and desiring to better understand why, I hope these pieces of writing might be a friend to you. I hope they push you to press on, to appreciate living (and working), to appreciate the smallest of moments with a family member, close friend, or stranger. I hope they move you to explore and imagine, to find the “why” behind anything, and to trust that though we have a finite understanding, the One who is infinite has been made accessible to mankind. Mankind meaning you and me, and there is no small amount of peace to be found in that truth.
P.S. I attached a song to the bottom of each composition to accompany its reading. Enjoy!
My Body
(December 23, 2016)
It's funny, I do think I know my body... this garment that covers my soul. Though, I have found that I know it only in part. I understand it solely because of the countless times I’ve looked over it, seeking to find imperfections in order to fix them. It wasn't till tonight that I had realized that never before had I studied my body, simply to know the perfections. Never had I looked in the mirror to study and observe my eyes, my brows, my nose, lips, cheeks, or chin.
God could have given me any arrangement of these structures, and yet He specifically gave me these ones, those that build what seems to be a face, my face. Would I know a picture of my hand, my hair, my shoulders, feet, nails, or silhouette because it was a familiar form I had looked over for 20 years, eyes trained to notice the usual imperfections? Or would I notice that it was mine because only I owned that trait? This was not a body I happened upon, but a body that was uniquely designed and chosen for my soul. I should learn it; I should know it. There is beauty held within this body. In every line, scar, and detail. This beauty to be acknowledged is not one of vanity, as if it was an accomplishment I attained. No, it was handcrafted by the one above and given to me, and it is just as much a part of this breathtaking creation as any other part. Should I not also study it in complete amazement as I would any other part of creation? My body, too, is a stunning miracle.