A Word To My Reader
I am not a perfect voice calling out in the dark, but a broken voice calling out in the dark. I have not said anything perfectly, nor have I ever touched on perfection flawlessly. Every element I speak on found here will fall short on every degree because of the breadth and width of which the topic expands (both logically and emotionally). In fact the only thing I can come closest to in explaining perfectly would be my brokenness, because that, I know better than perfection. I can only try to speak about the glimpses of perfection I have seen in my life. Please bear that in mind as you read. I hope that these compositions can bring further light to the honest depths and heights that life teaches us about ourselves, the world around us, and the starter of this all, God.
As Phillip Lopate says, in reading this you will learn more about my “habits of thought” than the activities that actually make up my day to day. I do not assume that most will want to read any of this, but for the one who is feeling lost or confused, for the one who is trying to find reason to keep living, for the one who is fighting against himself, others, or his God, and desiring to better understand why, I hope these pieces of writing might be a friend to you. I hope they push you to press on, to appreciate living (and working), to appreciate the smallest of moments with a family member, close friend, or stranger. I hope they move you to explore and imagine, to find the “why” behind anything, and to trust that though we have a finite understanding, the One who is infinite has been made accessible to mankind. Mankind meaning you and me, and there is no small amount of peace to be found in that truth.
P.S. I attached a song to the bottom of each composition to accompany its reading. Enjoy!
The Third Time
(March 7, 2018)
It was the third time I answered, the same as before
Why must I repeat it twice and once more?
It may not be true, but it must be said
Otherwise, I too would be covered in red
For if I spoke right and told the truth
There would be more than just one, there would be two
But at the third time, the clock struck, and the bird sounded
My eyes widened, my heart pounded
I shifted my vision to look away from my lies
Grabbing at anything that would help me survive
But I knew exactly what He knew
And I did exactly what He said I would do
So like a baby, my eyes stumbled to His
(The very God-man Judas had deceitfully kissed)
And just as an archer, I would not miss
And so they wobbled to the only One who could comfort
The very same One I betrayed; the very One I hurt
And in that moment when our eyes touched, I lost my vision though I was not trying
For my eyes were filled with liquid, and I found that I was crying