A Gloom I Can’t Defeat

(Started: December 31, 2019 | Finished: September 03, 2022)

I want to be hopeful 

Not dogmatic or sad

So tired of being tired 

I want rest at last

Each moment of joy 

Seems threaded with pain

I just want the laughter 

Without a blemish of shame

Each time I conquer it

It seems to come back 

I could be peaceful 

But then I hear it laugh

Won’t this cloud of heaviness

Relent or go away

‘Cause no matter where I run

It’s still biting at my legs

It’s a weight I can’t wrestle

And a gloom I can’t defeat 

But then light tears the curtain

And love again speaks

I guess You heard me calling 

When I was wailing in my car

Gave me purpose for living

Eyes to find light in the dark

Things, again given meaning

No longer objects of scorn

A gift to just be breathing

Thinking began to reform

Life became less about doing 

More about looking around

Each piece was undeserved

Down to my next heart pound

There’s always hope to be had

No matter what future brews

‘Cause the future has purpose

It’s never absent of You