You Said the Sky

(January 20, 2019)

Let’s sit in the silence and simply do nothing.

We’ll stare at the sunset and find that we’re smiling.

No words were spoken, but I knew what you were thinking,

Or I guess we weren’t thinking as much as just breathing.

Soaking it in till our hearts overflowed,

Light gleamed from our eyes and spilled out our souls.

I asked you what your favorite thing was in nature.

Mine was the light, the way it touched every creature.

You sat a bit, then answered with tender eyes.

You said the sky, but that too often, we miss out on its design.

If one would just go outside and look up a little more often,

You said they’d see all was okay;

“Our mess-ups can’t change the galaxies or make the stars soften.”

You went on for a while, and I just gathered and gleaned,

And the last of what you said also stuck out to me:

“Every hour, the Artist puts up a new display,

How can we know art if we don’t see it when it’s right in front of our face?”

A Moment With Mother

(December 31, 2018)

I could feel her presence over my figure as she reached to grab the blanket resting on the back of the couch.  Her hands made little sound as she first draped the blanket on my feet and then slowly pulled it up to my chin.

I dared not open my eyes to reveal I had been awake, for that would steal from her the joy of looking after the one she had taken care of since infancy. And I dared not open my eyes, for that would rip from me the peace of being taken care of as though I was a child again. Pride is not an issue when you are receiving care while you sleep.

Wars In Our Heads

(November 2018)

Gave up the money

Spent all my youth

Fighting for something

Protecting our youth

They called us all noble

But we were soon forgotten

They think the war is over

But the real battle remains in our heads

At war at least I had my brothers

But now I've got to fight alone

They promised to heal us

But turned away when we walked through the door

We paid for their freedom

But got another war in return

Can somebody fix me

I want to live to see life for what it is

I'm tired of feeling broken

I've forgotten the feeling of innocence

Will you sit with me in the darkness

Will you take the images from my head

Can you hold me forever

Till I'm finally normal again

Can you hold me forever

Till I'm finally normal again

Will you stay with me forever

Even if I'm never normal again

Will you stay with me forever

I'm afraid I'll never feel normal again

Will you stay with me forever

I'm afraid I'll never feel normal again

The Sway

( September 2018)

There's a chill in the night and you're next to me

I think it's time to go but I can't seem to leave

And the world seems to fade and we're all alone

You bring your heart next to mine and we're swaying to this song

Ahhhh

Ahhhh

There's a whisper in the wind and a melody in the night

And we're dancing so swiftly with the stars in the sky

And all nature sways to the chorus it sings

The movement the swaying together you and me

Oh and is this all real or is this a dream

Cause I'm afraid that you might drift away in the breeze

Ahhhh

Ahhhh

Don't wanna go back

No I won't go back

I wanna stay here forever

Together under this moon

I don't wanna go back

No I won't go back

I wanna stay here forever

Together under this moon

I don't wanna go back

No I'm not going back

I wanna stay here forever

Together under this moon

Ahhhh

Ahhhh

Ahhhh

Ahhhh

The Third Time

(March 7, 2018)

It was the third time I answered, the same as before 

Why must I repeat it twice and once more?

It may not be true, but it must be said 

Otherwise, I too would be covered in red

For if I spoke right and told the truth

There would be more than just one, there would be two

But at the third time, the clock struck, and the bird sounded

My eyes widened, my heart pounded

I shifted my vision to look away from my lies

Grabbing at anything that would help me survive 

But I knew exactly what He knew

And I did exactly what He said I would do

So like a baby, my eyes stumbled to His

(The very God-man Judas had deceitfully kissed)

And just as an archer, I would not miss

And so they wobbled to the only One who could comfort 

The very same One I betrayed; the very One I hurt

And in that moment when our eyes touched, I lost my vision though I was not trying

For my eyes were filled with liquid, and I found that I was crying

A Shared Name

(March 7, 2018)

Youngest of five, older than four

First there were boys, she, the first girl

Played with their Legos, dressed in their shorts

She was a tomboy, loved all the same sports

Mama said there had been one before

Baby would have been her number four

Cleaning the windows till pain in her side

Red filled the water, water filled her eyes

If she was a girl her name would be mine

Brother sang about her, his own little rhyme

He said that all was good and all was okay

Because "Leah was found in heaven that day"

But my name is Leah and I’m still alive 

Too soon to tell what the baby was inside

My brain keeps repeating again and again

“I wonder who I would be, and who you would have been”

My life would have changed, my name would be different 

An older sister can change things, I guess quite a bit

If you were a girl, I now carry your name

We'll share it together; I won't bring it to shame.

New Start

(March 2018)

We're growing up, and we're growing old

And my friends are moving on

Going places with people I've never met

And I'm packing up, and I'm moving out

And I'm walking across a stage

Into a world that I've never seen

And they ask me where I'm going

And they ask me what I see ahead

But if I'm being completely honest

I can't see a thing

Now I am walking across a plank

With a blindfold over my eyes

And I can't see the steps right in front of me

I could back out, and I could flee

Or stay strong and stay free

And dive in, 'cause fear, it won't hold me down

And I can't see Him, but I'll read His voice

And He's guiding me through all the noise

When I can't trace His hand, I'll trust His heart

Even in this new start

And I used to think that when I was grown up

I'd have my life figured out

I'd know exactly who I was

I'd be set in my ways, not needing to change

But now that I'm here, I feel more like a child

Still learning my lessons and needing direction

Still needing direction

And I used to think that when I was grown up

I'd have my life figured out

I'd know exactly who I was

I'd be set in my ways, not needing to change

But now that I'm here, I feel more like a child

Still learning my lessons and needing direction

Still needing direction, needing direction

So when I can't trace His hand, I'll trust His heart

To lead me in, to lead me in this new start

So when I can't trace His hand, I'll trust His heart

To lead me in, to lead me in this new start

Lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala

Lalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalalala

La la a

My Shepherd

(December 2017)

And I dare not say

What I really mean

'Cause it don't make sense

And it's breaking me

So I'll close my mouth

And I'll listen up

'Cause there's good in listening

To the things I don't want

And I can't hear You

If I only hear me

And I know You have things

That I need to see

So listen up my soul

To the words He speaks

And You tell me I'm new

And You say I'm clean

But I don't understand

Everything I read

And my feelings tell me

Lies about You

I will fight the devil

With what I know to be true

'Cause Your word is a lamp

For my feet

And You say You only want

What's best for me

So You'll break my legs

And You will break me

And You'll be my shepherd

And I'll be Your sheep

And You'll pick me up

And You'll carry me

'Cause You are my shepherd

I am, I am Your sheep

Rain Cloud

(September 2017)

Storm's a-brewin' and it's cold outside

Window's open, letting in the winter light

Sipping my cocoa while I'm stuck inside

Sun is hidden, darkness fills the sky

A cloud full of liquid seems to catch my eye

My poor, poor cloud, why don't you just let it go and cry

And cry

You keep holding together, and it's killing me

There's a battle inside your soul

A constant fight to be

An angry burst of light and a crack breaks forth

Just let one drop fall, the rest will follow short

A tear spills out, and the ground drinks in relief

A drizzle starts, and you begin to weep

And you see you're free

You're free

The hope of sunlight shimmers through again

War had been settled and a smile was sent

Silhouette Tree

(June 2017)

Mr. Tree how do you keep from falling down

Branches raised like you had just been found

I guess your roots, they grow so deep

They are your knees, they are your feet

Weather's been a devil, but you've stood tall

Making sure roots hold so you don't fall

And I swear if you had a face, it would be one of first place

And if I could call you by a name, it would be one of such grace

Black silhouette against the sky

First to see sunset, first to see sunrise

Hands held up, head held high

Knowing your freedom, knowing your pride

Your body blows in the wind

How I long to feel that on my skin

Even when night comes, there you are

Bold silhouette standing still in the dark

Your body blows in the wind

How I long to feel that on my skin

Even when night comes, there you are

Bold silhouette standing still in the dark

Aahhhhhhh

Watching over, making sure

All is calm and the world's tucked in

Eyes wide open, body turned

Ready to meet the sunrise again

Your body blows in the wind

How I long to feel that on my skin

Even when night comes, there you are

Bold silhouette standing still in the dark

Your body blows in the wind

How I long to feel that on my skin

Even when night comes, there you are

Bold silhouette standing still in the dark

Aahhhhhhh

Bold silhouette standing still in the dark

Bold silhouette standing still in the dark

Bold silhouette standing still in the dark

Bold silhouette standing still in the dark

My Body

(December 23, 2016)

It's funny, I do think I know my body... this garment that covers my soul. Though, I have found that I know it only in part. I understand it solely because of the countless times I’ve looked over it, seeking to find imperfections in order to fix them. It wasn't till tonight that I had realized that never before had I studied my body, simply to know the perfections. Never had I looked in the mirror to study and observe my eyes, my brows, my nose, lips, cheeks, or chin.

God could have given me any arrangement of these structures, and yet He specifically gave me these ones, those that build what seems to be a face, my face. Would I know a picture of my hand, my hair, my shoulders, feet, nails, or silhouette because it was a familiar form I had looked over for 20 years, eyes trained to notice the usual imperfections? Or would I notice that it was mine because only I owned that trait? This was not a body I happened upon, but a body that was uniquely designed and chosen for my soul. I should learn it; I should know it. There is beauty held within this body. In every line, scar, and detail. This beauty to be acknowledged is not one of vanity, as if it was an accomplishment I attained. No, it was handcrafted by the one above and given to me, and it is just as much a part of this breathtaking creation as any other part. Should I not also study it in complete amazement as I would any other part of creation? My body, too, is a stunning miracle.

Honesty

(2015)

Life is hard I can't deny

Don't pull away and don't be shy

Don't wipe those tears from your eyes

It's perfectly normal to cry

When it's raining in your life

Money won't show to provide

Someone close is about to die

It's never sunny, it's always night

I can't do this anymore

The walls are closing in

And I can't find the door

I can't do this anymore

The walls are closing in

And I can't find the door

Can't find the door

When you can't speak a word

Without a fight

And you wanna give up,

Don't wanna try

'Cause they're leaving again

And you gotta say bye, bye, bye

But you can't get a breath in

'Cause you're so tired

You're so tired

I found a hope more faithful than the morning

He's full of kindness and completely full of glory

When life's filled with evil and doesn't go as it should, should, should

He's the light in the darkness and He's always good, He's always good

I found a hope more faithful than the morning

He's full of kindness and completely full of glory

When life's filled with evil and doesn't go as it should, should, should

He's the light in the darkness and He's always good, He's always good

He's always good, good, good

Good, good, good

Good, good, good

He's always good, good, good, good

Little Sister

(2014/2015)

You are the flower that grows in the night

You grew ten feet when I closed my eyes

And now it seems I'm looking up to you

It's a surprise to me, though I think you knew

And you grew older

Just in the blink of an eye

Just as time flew by

And now I'm saying goodbye

And you grew stronger

Just over the night

Within a brand-new sky

A beautiful sunrise

I still remember the day you were born

You needed grace 'cause your heart was torn

But when I saw your love and truth

God showed my eyes that he changed you

And you grew older

Just in the blink of an eye

Just as time flew by

And now I'm saying goodbye

And you grew stronger

Just over the night

Within a brand-new sky

A beautiful sunrise

I miss the old days when you were young and reckless

And you threw flowers in your hair

I miss the old days when we were full of dreamin'

And we made up stories just for fun

I miss the old days, but I wouldn't exchange the present for the past

Because of the bond, the bond we now have

Because of the bond, the bond we now have